the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
