My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
