How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it glows. i had to have it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i now understand why vodka
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
