Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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