All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
