I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
