I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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