I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
