You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
