Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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