Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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