Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
