i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
where does the pee come out of this thing
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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