I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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