And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
