I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize