Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
