you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
