Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
dude i'm inner monologue high
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
