Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
