glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
