Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize