i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize