It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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