just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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