Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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