I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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