She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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