Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house

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(410): View more from Maryland

he was CRYING into my vagina

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(937): View more from Ohio

I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!

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(218): View more from Minnesota

time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.

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(770): View more from Georgia

My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha

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(571): View more from Virginia

In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy

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