you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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