Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
