i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
