i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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