my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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