i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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