even my farts smell like vagina
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
