Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize