I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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