shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Your penis caused this!
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