You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
