He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
