I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
