I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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