she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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