Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
