I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
