Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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