I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
