You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
