It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
