She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
