I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
