dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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