The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
