I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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